How to NOT Be Shy

When it comes to being more confident, you’re going to hear a lot people give you the same old simplistic ideas. However, those ideas will not be actionable results-driven.

For example, most people just tell you to “be confident” and to “stop being shy” which are not something you can automatically do, without a little bit of work. Now that doesn’t mean it will entail a lot of work, but rather, a change of mind, pace, and goal will help you a long way.

Most often, folks set their sights on a large encompassing issue, but forget about the little things. Sometimes the little things make all the difference, and that’s what the following will highlight in order to help you learn how to get over shyness.

• Write Down Your Goals

First and foremost, you should write down what your goals are. Try to narrow down your focus: start broad with “how to not be shy” then break it up into specific micro-categories.

For instance, you want to get rid of your shyness, attack it from different smaller vantage points. Perhaps it’s talk to a guy or gal you like. Maybe it’s to deliver a speech in front of a class, or in a business meeting. Maybe it’s to meet people eye to eye and shake their hands.

Whatever your goals are, write them down. Otherwise you’re going to have a large milestone to reach without any plans to get there.

• Put Yourself into Situations Where People are Talking

This is tricky, but it’s important. The majority of people who are shy do not initiate small talks, and don’t jump into settings where there’s a lot of people

You must inject yourself into these situations. Don’t hover around the refreshment area or be a wallflower, but rather, join in on the conversation. Listen to what people are talking about, take a few mental notes, and then politely inject a comment. You will be surprised by how welcoming people actually are when you have some thoughts and ideas to contribute to the discussion, and you can’t do that if you constantly avoid social gatherings, or steer clear of talking to others.

• Affirm that You are Great to Yourself

This may sound esoteric, but it’s not. Look in the mirror and speak positively about yourself before you go to bed and when you wake up.

Positive affirmations are nothing to shy away from. You need to say these things out loud to yourself so that you start believing them. Even if you’re scared, nervous, or shy, you will build up your confidence through repetition.

This simple technique is used a lot by meditation experts, yoga masters, and confident individuals. You should always speak positively to yourself, and do so in front of a mirror and throughout your day. Do it out loud during your private times, but in your head whenever you’re around others.

Literally write down positive things about yourself, memorize them, repeat them, and you will overcome your shyness.